We got in a fight again, about which way to put the bowls in the dishwasher. Well I know it was stupid. I should have just let it go, but in the moment, I just thought--she should let it go. God, why does it matter to her anyway? Even now, I can't help feeling a little angry about it. Well, I got so mad that I stormed off and took a spur of the moment camping trip. I just had to get away. Just had to. I wish I'd been a bit more mature about things. We'd talked about taking a trip all summer and never got to it. The kayak was strapped to the top of my subaru for months, just waiting. Every now and then we'd start planning a trip, but something would come up or we'd get in a fight and it never happened. So I was a bit resentful about that and in my moment of dish-inspired fury, I decided the best thing to do was just to take the trip on my own.
Well now I'm soaking wet and stranded without a kayak and remembering exactly why we didn't go campling last time we were planning to. Christa wanted to make sure the kayak was really strapped in well. She'd pulled an extra rope across it, but she'd pulled it so tight and so fast that it sliced a small hole in the bottom of the craft. Well god dammit, I'd gotten so mad about that. We hadn't even taken the kayak down to see if it could be repaired. I wish I'd've remembered that two hours ago. Although, I was in such a rage, who knows what I would have done. I might have cut the ropes, ripped the kayak off the car, and driven over the goddamn thing. Well good riddance, I guess.
I did notice after I was in the river a half hour or so that the boat had a little water in the bottom, but I didn't think about what that meant. I only worried about my feet getting wet. And then in another twenty minutes, it hit some tipping point where the water started pouring in real fast and I couldn't even find the damned leak. Pretty soon I was treading water, trying to hold onto my gear bag and make it to shore. It took ages, and I have more than one scrape and bruise from the battle. It would be bad enough if I were just soaked and stranded, but every part of my body is in pain. Christa's gonna say it serves me right. She used to be such a babe. Well she still has the same body. Maybe that's all I noticed when we first started out. She does have a great ass. We just can't get along these days. I don't know what it is exactly. It's all the littlest things. I'm glad she's not here to laugh at me. I can wallow in my failure and misery in peace.
It is nice to be away. Just being tucked between real trees that aren't planted and trimmed in neat suburban lines takes a little bit of the edge off. There's sand under my fingernails, mud on my pants--probably on my face too. Poor Christa. I hope she isn't too worried. I shouldn't have stormed off like that. Maybe we aren't right for each other, but I still care about her. She'd love this view, looking up the hills from the riverbank. She'd take her shoes off and dangle her feet in the water. I can't imagine what she thinks of me right now. I guess I better find my way back.
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